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Joke of the Day

"one time i slam dunked a basketball so good we were out of school for a week people just needed time to process"

"Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are under $2.00 while deer nuts are under a buck"

"You remember when you were a kid, you had tons of fun blowing bubbles in the bathtub? I saw Bubbles the other day, he told me to say ""Hi!""."

"WOLVERINE'S DAD: Son do you know why I named you Wolverine WOLVERINE: No, father WOLVERINE'S DAD: It is because my name is Wolverine's Dad"

"You sneak into my room, unnoticed you gently touch one bit of my naked body after the other until you find the most desirable place, then you start sucking. Stupid mosquitoes!"

"What do you call Tinder for an amputee? Timber"

"[at a bar] ""I'm meeting my friend Dan"" big Dan or Dan who's never has money? [door swings open] HEY WHO WANTS TO BUY THEIR BUDDY DAN A DRINK"

"To that person who long, long ago, first looked at coffee beans and thought, ""You know, I bet I could make some kind of hot drink out of these things.""... I THANK YOU. VERY VERY MUCH."

"Idea: ""Celebrity Price Is Right"" where Gwyneth Paltrow guesses that loaves of bread cost $460"

"How did the hillbilly find his sister in the woods? Pretty Hot."