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Joke of the Day

"Husband: Call ambulance, Fast! I am Having a Heart Attack... Wife: ( Took his mobile): ""Quick!! Tell me the Password!!"" Husband: It's Okay, I am feeling better now!! :D :D"

"Kids want a dog, told em I can only keep 4 things alive, them & the plant. If we add a dog something will die & I cant be sure its the plant"

"""Boss, I've got a probl-"" ""There are no such things as problems, only opportunities"" ""Oh, ok. I've got a serious drinking opportunity"""

"I want to start a Bantu Saliva cover band... And call it ""Click Click Boom"". ^I'll ^^show ^^^myself ^^^^out."

"I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80s bands... Apparently there's no Cure."

"What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip."

"What's the difference between an Iraqi elementary school, and an Isis hideout? I don't know man, I just fly the drone."

"Lifeguard 1: How was your day? Lifeguard 2: Sad, I saw a bear in lake 1: How is that sad? 2: He could bearly swim! 1:.. 2: He ate 3 campers"

"Dropping the bass So my friend tells me she respects people who play the bass. I reply with the following: ""the only bass I like is the base that drops."" Tell me Reddit, tell me I'm hilarious."

"Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn't get a date. "