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Joke of the Day

"A flash mob has nothing to do with a bunch of Italians in trench coats hanging out at a playground, apparently."

"What do you call a scary prostitute? Horrifying."

"What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker? Hop in."

"Time machine jokes aren't funny, you guys. My great grandson dies in a time machine crash."

"I miss the days if you were angry while on the phone, you could slam it down without costing $400!"

"Me: *unfreezes cro-magnon woman I uncover on an arctic expedition* Cro-magnon woman: ""I have a boyfriend."""

"I used to supply filofaxes to the mafia I was involved in very organised crime"

"Investigators say the Germanwings copilot suffered from manic depression. One minute he was up, then he was down."

"Boss - can you pass a piss test? Me - Sure...distance or accuracy?"

"What do you call a mexican drowning in mayonise Sin-co-dye-mayo"