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Joke of the Day

"USA: ""Hey nachos, today's your big day!"" Nachos: ""What about Cinco de Mayo?"" USA: ""What'd you just say?"" Nachos: ""Nothing."""

"What did the man say when he walked into a bar? ""Ouch!"""

"What does Reddit need? Ahmad."

"The best thing about eating healthy food is all the incredible food you eat an hour later because you're so hungry..."

"Two reasons I won't give money to homeless people. 1. They're probably just going to buy beer with that money. 2. I'm going to buy beer with that money. Edit: changed for to with."

"I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, you're probably one of them."

"So my friend is dating twins... ...And I said, ""Isn't it hard to tell them appart?"" He replied with, ""Well not really, the brother has a moustache."""

"What do you call someone who molests puppies and kittens? A Petophile"

"Don't you hate it when people answer their own questions? I know I do."

"What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel!"