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Joke of the Day

"So my friend is dating twins... ...And I said, ""Isn't it hard to tell them appart?"" He replied with, ""Well not really, the brother has a moustache."""

"If you're home alone and hear a fart do you laugh or get scared"

"The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble."

"A Jewish boy asked his father... for fifty dollars for a pair of sneakers. His father replied ""Forty dollars?! What do you need thirty dollars for?!"""

"If we're talking & I start running my nails up & down your arm, I either really like you, or I'm looking for an artery close to the surface."

"How many members of Linkin Park does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, cuz in the end it doesn't even matter!!!"

"I've just seen a girl post a selfie with her dead grandma on facebook and thousands have commented ""rip"". Stop the internet, I wanna get off"

"What is the most important factor in China's future? Euthanasia."

"I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers."

"The best things in life are free. My neighbor's unsecured wi-fi, for instance."