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Joke of the Day

"I can't believe we have a barack president. It's an obamanation!"

"Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently that is not allowed if the baby is yours."

"If you want to catch a bus you have to *think* like a bus."

"I was out shopping today; guess who asked about you?! Nobody."

"My car horn hasn't worked for a long time. Today, a Boy Scout fixed it and all he said was, ""Beep repaired!"""

"What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has a date on Valentine's day."

"What did the double dick guy say when the tailor asked him if he dresses right or left? Yes."

"Read about that farmer who lost a whole load of crops when crossing the river. Turns out his boat was full of leeks."

"""What should we call ourselves?"" How about 22 pilots? ""Idk. Seems like an awful lot of pilots"" 21 pilots? ""Omg"""

"I want to get one of those LA hats everyone has nowadays When people go to ask me ""hey man, are you from Los Angeles?"" I'll be like ""nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"""