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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has a date on Valentine's day."

"What did Syd Barrett leave in his mother's bathroom? A saucerful of secretions"

"Why do girls travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"bucket: a dirty limerick A horny young Scout, with a bucket, Caught a goose and proceeded to fuck it Far too roughly (it died), Took it home, had it fried, Cause he thought it'd wasteful to chuck it."

"You might have heard about the Chevy Camaro IROC, but do you know what IROC stands for? Italian retard out cruising."

"TIFU by messing up someone's sandwich order Whoops, wrong sub!"

"Why do people insist on saying ""You're next"" to me at weddings? Do they not realize how serial killery that is?"

"A Man Has a Heart Attack on a Plane... Stewardess: Is **anybody** here a doctor?! Man: (Raising Hand) I'm a vegan."

"I'll always remember Granddad's last words to me... ""WHAT'RE YOU DOING IN HERE WITH THAT HAMMER?"""

"I illegally watched Hang Over Part 3 online and I still feel like I got ripped off."