184152

Joke of the Day

"TIL you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops wrong sub"

"HOBBIES INCLUDE: - Whispering dark secrets to animals - Trying to get a strawberry seed out of my teeth - Being vegan, but also eating steak"

"I went SCUBA-diving and my equipment malfunctioned. I was so mad... ... it literally made my blood boil."

"What do you call a person who doesn't care that he just got kicked out of a Call of Duty team? *unfazed*"

"Girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""this isn't working, you take everything too literally"". She'll be so happy when she sees the new one."

"Why are prosthetic limbs so in fashion? Anyone can pull them off"

"My friend and I went to a guitar clinic recently. He really seemed to be into it. I guess it struck a chord with him."

"Two silkworms had a race... I heard they ended in a tie."

"Where does Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies"

"I walked a girl down into the dark woods. She said it's very scary. I said how do you think i feel i have to walk back alone.."