183975
Joke of the Day
"What lies upside down a hundred feet in the air? A dead centipede."
Next Joke
"No thanks Kentucky Derby. If I wanted to see a defenseless animal get beat into submission I'd just call my boss."
"A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double-entendre. So he *gives it to her.*"
"HEY, mom of 3 unruly kids staring at her phone in the bookstore: ... Do you have a charger I can use?"
"For the first time ever I find Hillary relatable. I'm not president either."
"What is the difference... What is the difference between unlawful and illegal? One is against the law and the other is a sick bird."
"I put the 'fun' in functional alcoholic."
"How many points do you get if you hit a golfer? Fore."
"Turns out the Joker has a criminally-insane dog. He's locked up in Barkham Asylum."
"A good friend of mine drowned the other day We put a life jacket on his coffin, it's what he would have wanted."