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Joke of the Day

"A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double-entendre. So he *gives it to her.*"

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who said that?"

"What weighs 150lbs, stands in the kitchen and takes the piss out of your underpants? A washing machine."

"ME: *robbing bank* More like, I'm BANKing on you not tripping the alarm! Haha! TELLER: Haha! COPS: *tackling me from behind* Haha!"

"Chuck Norris ran the 100 meters sprint And lapped Usain Bolt..........twice"

"Schroedinger either gave the best or the worst presents."

"Prison counts as a gated community, right?"

"Before sliced bread there was no greatest thing."

"What was the root of the problem dark ages? The potato famine."

"A guy shows up late for work... The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"