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Joke of the Day

"Turns out the Joker has a criminally-insane dog. He's locked up in Barkham Asylum."

"Did you hear about the golfer that bedded the Queen? He got a hole in one."

"If you were a girl and your last name was Pelled your name would always be Miss. Pelled"

"[couples therapy] HER: He's always talking down to me ME: *heavy sigh* It's called being condescending but I doubt you knew that, Karen"

"#rubbishjokes What's black and white and makes a lot of noise? A panda with a set of drums."

"I haven't talked to my wife for 18 months I don't like to interrupt her."

"My grandfather died in Auschwitz... He died after falling from the guard tower"

"No, I don't hate you. I promise. Cross my heart and hope you die."

"Jesus was white and spoke English and enjoyed baseball and apple pie and was a churchgoing Christian."

"Why did man invent curling? To convince women sweeping was a sport."