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Joke of the Day

"The TSA doesn't take compliments well... All I said was that the TSA was the **BOMB** and they wouldn't let me leave!"

"Why is 77 better then 69? Because you get eight more!"

"I went to see my drug dealer last week, he had some cheap trainers for sale. They were nice so I thought I'd get myself a pair. I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping for days!!"

"I have a serious self-loathing problem! Trust me to say that..."

"What do zombie college students eat? Raw-men"

"People in India must really enjoy sandwiches. I heard there were almost 250,000 people in a new deli."

"What happened when the 26th letter of the alphabet hit puberty? She got a Zebra."

"Practicing parenthood on an egg only teaches kids that if you cook your baby it's delicious."

"Porn gives unrealistic expectations. The plumber took his usual 60 per hour, even though I sucked his cock."

"I wanted to watch the inauguration today But Eisenhower late."