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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I could build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen her face when I drove pasta!"

"I used to be a plastic surgeon. Which raised a few eyebrows. (Credits: Stewart Francis. Look him up, this guy is hilarious)"

"What would you call Geralt of rivia if he had a sex change? The switcher"

"I was lucky enough to meet and have an excellent conversation with the worlds leading brain surgeon. Best cab ride ever."

"[accidentally calls teacher ""mom""] MY BRAIN: shit, play it cool. say something. ME: what's for dinner tonight BRAIN: what"

"I was called a village idiot today which really upset me. I live in a city."

"why can't coffee conduct electricity? because it is grounded"

"The most popular car brands are German, Japanese, and Italian. It's like losing WW2 is a prerequisite for making good autos."

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb ? Nein."

"What do you call a depressed bear? Bipolar"