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Joke of the Day

"Whats red, 10 inches long, and makes your girlfriend cry when you put it in her mouth? her miscarriage"

"*stares into wormhole* Whoa man, cool. *gets slapped by worm* Pervert! *worm wiggles away*"

"when i was a kid i never trusted stairs. those bastards were always up to something."

"What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together? Carbon Dating."

"I beat this orphan kid in baseball the other day... Only because the little cunt didn't know where home is!"

"Riddle, you see a guy You see a guy on the street talking to himself. What's his nationality? He's a Babylonian."

"Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks."

"Today I heard a critical speech about masturbation It was very touching, to say the least"

"What is the hardest part about firing a black man? Waiting for him to show up."

"What's the difference between a paycheck and a pen*s? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck."