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Joke of the Day

"*stares into wormhole* Whoa man, cool. *gets slapped by worm* Pervert! *worm wiggles away*"

"My 3yr old pooped her big girl panties at church today and I forgot the wipes, in case you were feeling bad about being single today."

"I want to get a dog and name it Syndrome. So that every time he gets on my couch, I can yell ""DOWN SYNDROME"""

"Rap is 75% Crap..."

"When they say, ""life is like a box of chocolates"", what they really mean is, ""life is like a box of shit disguised as chocolates""."

"It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it"

"I was woken up today by a tap on my door Odd sense of humor my plummer has."

"I don't throw gang signs. I'm Scottish. I throw bricks :)"

"I asked to switch seats because there was a god damn SCREAMING infant next to me, and I couldn't sleep. They told me no. Apparently you're not allowed to move away from your own child."

"What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor."