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Joke of the Day

"Today I heard a critical speech about masturbation It was very touching, to say the least"

"Fred: I met a really conceited actor the other day. Harry: Why do you say he's conceited? Fred: Well every time there was a thunderclap during the storm he went to the window and took a bow."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Now, you might say ""r"" but his first love be the ""c""."

"TIL this is a shameless copy of one of the top posts on this sub just changing a few words Woops wrong sub"

"The lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life,"" but john came fifth and won a toaster."

"So I'm here at the wailing wall, like a moron, with my harpoon."

"I just love rehydrated raisins They're grape."

"""Ed's Plumbing"" Hi I think an engagement ring is stuck in my toilet ""ok when did your lady drop-"" She didn't ""Sir?"" I hid it in her dessert"

"I recently went to the funeral of an asshole who bullied me for most of my life..... I wanted to literally see a dick in a box."

"'Hit me with your pet shark' #RuinAn80sSong"