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Joke of the Day

"Emmy Awards In the U.S., your program has to win an Emmy. In the U.K., programme already has one."

"""to my son, i leave my bathroom scale"" the lawyer sighs ""because where theres a will, theres a weigh. to my wife, i leave my last high five"""

"July 4th celebrates the original Brexit. Thanks George"

"I milked the cow ""We don't have a cow"" the neighbors' cow then ""Their cat?"" Pretty sure it was a cow he was saying moo ""Meow"" Ah shoot"

"What do you call an expert that studies sign language? A signtist!"

"What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Irene"

"How to end world hunger ? By letting the hungry die."

"My wife's celebrity ""free pass"" is Paul Rudd, and mine is my wife because yah right like I'm gonna walk into *that* propeller blade."

"Dear law students: my opposing counsel just asked her witness how old she was when she turned 18. You'll be fine."

"Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden? both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!"