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Joke of the Day

"Dear law students: my opposing counsel just asked her witness how old she was when she turned 18. You'll be fine."

"I witnessed an attempted murder yesterday. Luckily, only one crow showed up."

"How can you get a set of teeth put in for free? Smack a monster."

"My friend thinks her husband is cheating on her. I don't have the heart to tell her he's just out chasing Pokemon."

"What molecule has the best sense of humor? A helium polymer. HeHeHeHeHe"

"""This little computer"" said the sales clerk ""will do half of your job for you."" Studying the machine the senior VP said ""Fine I'll take two."""

"I Don't Nap Because I Have Tentonitish I fall asleep around 2 and don't wake up till ten tonightish"

"Just Juan How many Mexicans does it take to build a lightbulb?"

"I came up with a new word that means taking someone else's work and passing it off as my own. Plagiarism"

"I was really pissed at my boyfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered he's imaginary. So I'm good."