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Joke of the Day

"How to end world hunger ? By letting the hungry die."

"I was really disappointed with Walmart There were only four of them in stock."

"Why do prescription pills always say ""by mouth?"" Where else would people put th... Ooooooh."

"I've been waking up with a headache for years Unfortunately I'm married to it."

"I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM today... He asked me to help him check his balance.... So I pushed the fucker over."

"95% of every relationship is navigating the question ""Where should we eat?"" without it turning into World War III."

"Butt sex is a lot like spinach Even with butter, children don't like it."

"My principal doesn't allow guns in school... ...So i had to put on a long sleeve shirt"

"What's the difference between your girlfriend on her period and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist."

"Laughed hysterically and said ""Oh yes, please do"" after the pizza shop guy asked if he could put the sauce in my box. I think I scared him."