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Joke of the Day

"GARY BUSEY: I WANNA WRITE A BOOK HIS AGENT: gary that's a bad ideahow'd you feel about a ghost writer? GARY: SCARED AS HELL BUT I LIKE IT"

"Why is Paris the city of love? Hard P and a soft A. Modified from comment section of reddit"

"Why can't Mexicans win the Olympics? Because every one that can run, jump or swim has already crossed the border."

"NEW! ""How to Act"" DVD by Kristen Stewart! In love: :| Uncertain: :| Just married: :| Pregnant: :| Dead: :| Only $139.95! Act now!"

"My boyfriend has the body of a god! Or the body of God. Okay, he's like the body of Christ. What I mean is, he's a round white cracker."

"What happened when Dumbo went to a mindrreader? They gave him his money back."

"How to sleep: 1. Lay down 2. Dim lights 3. Dwell about literally every mistake you've made in your life for 6 hours 4. Rest for 9 minutes"

"""Try it, it's so good!"" ""Come on, man. Just a taste."" ""I'm having some. Mmmm."" ""Trust me."" Feeding my 2yo makes me feel like a drug dealer."

"What do you call ten thousand pastors setting themselves on fire in protest of marriage equality? A good start."

"What do you call a woman who misses her period? Fucked"