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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend has the body of a god! Or the body of God. Okay, he's like the body of Christ. What I mean is, he's a round white cracker."

"Marathon Just won my first marathon. I am experiencing the thrill of victory and the agony of de feet."

"Wife: I told you to slow down. Cop: License & registration, please. Wife (opens glovebox): Divorce papers? Me: Look underneath them."

"Do I believe in free will? Well I have no choice."

"What does a monster do when he loses his head? He calls a head hunter."

"Inside Out 2: The girl enters puberty. Her emotions get out of control. She goes Goth. Sadness murders the other emotions in their sleep"

"When I was 15 my dad bought me my first pack of condoms When they expired 5 years later he bought me my second."

"I thought of this one in history class today The thing about communist jokes is that everyone has to get them."

"What is the difference between homeless and vodka? Vodka does not freeze"

"Yes, I've lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing."