18267

Joke of the Day

"I hope that fat guy didn't notice me glancing at the weight limit sign on the elevator just now. Or clearing my throat and pointing at it."

"Do twins have the same size penis? It's a valid question. I'm sleeping with one and really hope the other brother is doing better"

"Jesus saves... ...everyone else takes full damage."

"Why is it so easy to fool a vampire? Because they're a bunch of suckers."

"advice: describing someone's cupcakes as being ""better than sex"" is only a compliment if you aren't sleeping with them"

"I had to check my printer because I thought I heard music coming from it. It was the paper jamming."

"You guys ever hear the one about the man who ran naked through the church? They caught him by the organ."

"Im going to nickname my penis 'The Truth'... ...Because you want the truth, but you can't handle the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts."

"I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel."

"What do you call two gay scientists breaking up? A homolytic fission."