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Joke of the Day

"Why is it so easy to fool a vampire? Because they're a bunch of suckers."

"I always wear a helmet during intercourse cause I'm a firm believer in safe sex. Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray."

"Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos? A: They make great anchors!"

"Why was the Ethiopian baby crying? It was having a mid-life crisis."

"What is cat's favourite tea? Kit-tea"

"My friend was like ""hey bring some cd's to listen to on the trip"" and I was like ""where are we going, 2001?"""

"What did the metric alien say ? Take me to your litre !"

"I got my wife tickets on a cruise ship. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."

"Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?!!!"

"If you listened to your heart please speak to a doctor cause it's isn't normal for a piece of meat to be speaking to you"