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Joke of the Day

"Do twins have the same size penis? It's a valid question. I'm sleeping with one and really hope the other brother is doing better"

"If someone holds eye contact with you for longer than 3 seconds, make sure you urinate to establish dominance"

"I like my girls how I like my wine Ten-fifteen years old and locked in my basement."

"Online dating is like a bakery You've got the flakes, the fruitcakes, and the tarts."

"What do you do when someone has an epileptic fit in the bathtub? Throw in the laundry."

"The Wizard of Oz is my favorite children's book that teaches us that it's ok to steal shoes from someone as long as they're dead."

"What did the Maple syrup farmer say when he saw a good looking maple tree? ""I'd tap that."""

"How do you cover 12 holes with one hole? Take a flute and shove it up your ass."

"Mummy Monster: What are you doing with that saw and where's your little brother ? Young Monster: Hee hee ! He's my half-brother now!"

"16 and pregnant should be followed by 26 and sucking c**k for crack."