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Joke of the Day

"Signs that your wife is cheating on you: 1. Wearing more makeup and perfume than usual 2. Acting distant 3. Sleeping with another dude"

"Where was Solomon's temple located? On the side of his head."

"How do you make a whore moan? With peptides... Sicko.."

"My signature move is getting drunk before anyone can ask me to be the designated driver."

"Knock, Knock - Who's There? - Ach... Ach who - Bless you!"

"Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art? Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming ""stay away from me!"""

"What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables? I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up."

"My girlfriend broke up with me. When she did, I gave her a note that said ""Great Job!"" I wanted things to end on a positive note."

"Did you hear about the guy born without a brain? Never mind."

"Always hit women with a left hook... ...because they don't deserve any rights"