125217
Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the guy born without a brain? Never mind."
Next Joke
"Just stuck my tongue in an outlet. The results were shocking."
"Who decides which weeds to kill in the garden? Weedicide."
"Went to the doctor today and my many years of phone sex has finally caught up with me. I have hearing AIDS now."
"what do you call a Canadian alien? ehh lmao"
"A fish's Google search history: - do fish have short term memory? - do fish have short term memory? - do fish have short term memory?"
"What is a banged-up used car? A car in first-crash condition."
"'Why are they arresting that dog?!? What did he do?!?' --my 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car"
"ISIS Awards Night: The 2016 best suicide bomber award goes to Mohammed. Unfortunately, Mohammed can't be with us tonight."
"Friend: What happened? 15yo me: *arm in a sling* Got hit by 2 buses. Friend: What happened? 37yo me: *in a full body cast* I sneezed weird."