182019

Joke of the Day

"Why do parents feel the need to hold your phone when you show them a picture?"

"I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now"

"*horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into an optometrist* Horse: Holy shit please help me"

"I didn't have a condom last night, so I used a sock... She wouldn't stop complaining about cotton mouth."

"What do you call a homeless Hitler? A roofless dictator."

"A recent study has linked alcohol to the risk of stroke in women... but i got a dick so lets drink!"

"I have sex daily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk."

"There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong caring loving. They'd be wrong but you could still use them."

"Every dessert is guilt-free if you're a sociopath"

"What does a sandwich filling share in common with Joffrey Lannister? They are both in bread."