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Joke of the Day

"*horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into an optometrist* Horse: Holy shit please help me"

"mugger: GIMME UR MONEY ""All I have is this $5 grandma gave me on my birthday"" [mugger pulls off mask revealing grandma] IT'S PAYBACK TIME"

"Two guys talking ""Tell me , have you ever been awakened by a blowjob?"" ""No ,i always sleep with my mouth shut."""

"i like to write the word ""gullible"" on the ceiling then say ""hey, look it says gullible on the ceiling."" i don't really understand jokes."

"*emergency room* NURSE: ""we're losing him!"" DOCTOR [pouring like a lot of buckets of ice water on his head]: ""IM WORKING AS FAST AS I CAN"""

"Kid: Daddy, where do babies come from? Dad: Storks deliver them Kid: but where do baby storms come from? Dad: ...Fuck."

"In St. Louis right now, thought this was appropriate: How many black people does it take to start a riot? -1"

"Just been confronted by my next door neighbour, apparently there's been items going missing from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants!"

"My parents asked me if I wanted to watch Dumb and Dumber with them tonight.. When I went downstairs the debate was on."

"What do you call spaghetti made by Jamaican? Rasta Pasta."