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Joke of the Day

"There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong caring loving. They'd be wrong but you could still use them."

"Bee jokes, courtesy of my niece (age 8). What did the bee use to dry off after swimming? A *bee*ch towel. What did the bee use to get out the tangles? A honeycomb."

"My friend's father is a Jew.... which makes him Jew-ish."

"I'm not one to give parenting advice, but kids are a lot less likely to fight you on eating dinner if you don't give them lunch or breakfast"

"I can never remember if it's ""laying"" or ""lying."" Anyway, I hit a dude with my car and he's doing one of them in the middle of the road. :("

"I heard Venezuelan currency has inflated so much they are weighing it instead of counting it. Looks like they finally transitioned from bolivars to pounds."

"Only in Scotland, will you ever see a man take a piss on a door, then open it and walk inside. (credit: Frankie Boyle)"

"23. RT @Highlights: Parents, at what age do you think it's okay for a child to get his or her own cell phone?"

"Two wrongs don't make a right... but three lefts make a right. And two Wrights make a plane 6 lefts make a plane."

"What's black, grey, and red all over? A gorilla with a child in the enclosure."