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Joke of the Day

"I didn't have a condom last night, so I used a sock... She wouldn't stop complaining about cotton mouth."

"I love linguistics Its the only class where I can talk about vowel movements."

"Peyton Manning walks into a bar. ... to watch the Super Bowl."

"What's better than eating a mandarin? Eating Amanda out."

"I don't think we should call them ""bills."" Because Bill is a man's name and bills are fee mail."

"My girlfriend left me because she said I'm a ""Clueless idiot."" I didn't even know I had a girlfriend."

"Q: What do get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile? A: An animal that talks your head off."

"I only entered the witness protection program for the free plastic surgery."

"Every day, my face wakes up 3-4 hours after the rest of me."

"*Gets 500 word angry text from ex *responds, you mad bro?"