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Joke of the Day

"A recent study has linked alcohol to the risk of stroke in women... but i got a dick so lets drink!"

"I took my girlfriend bungee jumping. As her body hit and spread out over the rocks below, I thought, ""That'll teach you to lie about your weight."""

"Why do baby clothes have pockets? I've never heard a baby say: ""cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"""

"Do you know why banks have lollipops? So you'll have a sucker when they rob you. Eh, someone will like it."

"I started dating an astronaut. It happened out of nowhere. I did not planet."

"Hate when I eat the last bite and didn't notice it was the last bite so I couldn't mentally prepare myself and get any closure."

"What kind of pants did the Japanese porn star wear to her job interview? Bu-khakis"

"/r/Jokes was starting to get flooded by good original jokes ... Edit: I know the mods hate the punchline in the title, my bad"

"I made an late-night appointment with my escort But she informed me she is only working normal orifice-hours these days."

"The part of the Harry Potter movies that I found most unbelievable was that mostly unsupervised teenagers never had wild keg parties."