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Joke of the Day

"I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder."

"I wanted to throw an earth day party... But I forgot to planet"

"What is the most awesomely amazing word in the English language? Anticlimactic"

"What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You stop milking a cow after 10 years."

"A King taught his son how to use the toilet today. Now they call him Prince Charmin."

"I don't kill spiders because when spiders become our mutant overlords and eat us, they will look at me and say, ""She's cool. Let her live."""

"The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children."

"I like my women like I like my file systems..... FAT & 32."

"Huge shout out to the woman that message me first... Love you, Mum!"

"I keep trying to think of the unit for frequency... It hertz my head."