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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You stop milking a cow after 10 years."

"What has four legs and one arm? A pitbull terrier in a childrens' playground"

"Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? to *whom*."

"My dad use to take me to the circus to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady. Now, I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart."

"Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can't carry the mother."

"If you're an astronaut.. and you don't end every relationship with ""I need space"" then you're just wasting your time"

"My life is like a beautiful piece of furniture from IKEA. Once I figure out how to put it all together, I may get to actually enjoy it."

"Pity the poor egg. He only gets laid once in his life, and even then it's by his mother."

"What are a parrot's favourite literary characters? Mr Macawber and Pollyanna!"

"Four years ago, I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me! She said ""no"" both times."