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Joke of the Day

"An entire cheerleader civilization was wiped out in the eruption at Pompompeii."

"[NSFW] My wife and I kept on arguing about who should be on top of whom during sex. Now I'm not saying I won, but I came out on top"

"MEL GIBSON: HE'LL ONLY HIT YOU IF YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT. THAT'S THE MEL GIBSON PROMISE."

"If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though."

"Ahhh, Christmastime... Is my favorite time of year. It's the only time of the year that my wife isn't griping at me to take down the Christmas lights."

"Guy told me I have ""Bambi eyes""...is that even a compliment? Oh god, please don't shoot my mother."

"Why did the guitarist go to prison? Because he fingered A Minor."

"Watch closely as the husband quietly approaches the calm children, riles them up into a frenzy, then slyly escapes to watch football."

"I was playing with my new toaster in the bathtub today when I read the warning label and it said not to. I was shocked."

"Dark humor is like food Not everyone gets it."