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Joke of the Day

"Watch closely as the husband quietly approaches the calm children, riles them up into a frenzy, then slyly escapes to watch football."

"If Clinton is elected president... It will be the first time two presidents slept with each other..."

"What has eight arms and tells the time? A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner"

"Where is Pinocchio's website? On the splinternet."

"What's the difference between a Catholic and a Baptist? A Catholic will say hello when he sees you in the liquor store."

"I'm not a huge fan homeopathy... ...but I guess it's okay in small amounts."

"I was driving around in my tricycle all day I worked it so hard, it lost a wheel. The tricycle is two tired now."

"A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender looks up and says ""Do you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your butt?"" The pirate responds, ""Yarrr, its driving me nuts."""

"What happened to the NSFW warning on r/Jokes? It stopped working like all those who got caught on reddit at work."

"A man walks into a bar... And says ""ouch""."