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Joke of the Day
"If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though."
Next Joke
"Me: Go to bed 5-year-old: One more question Me: Fine 5: Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter? Me 5: Me: Get some coffee"
"I've noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be."
"What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years? Church."
"Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte has to eat enough to feed a family of 4 every day. He has to! I just do it because I feel like it."
"When someone says Jesus was a virgin ...I have to laugh. How about that one time he got nailed by a bunch of Romans?"
"What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty."
"What is the difference between a black man and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child."
"Where do dock workers like to shop? Crate and Barrel."
"Just my luck... ""I sure do like your finger in my pussy, but your ring hurts."" ""Uh, I'm not wearing any rings. Baby, that's my wristwatch..."""