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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being dark."

"BlackBerry: being significantly less obvious than a magazine to carry into the office shitter since 2002."

"Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!"

"Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint? A: It's not real bright but it's cheap and spreads easy."

"No one spoil the ending, I haven't finished the iTunes user agreement yet!!"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $60 to have a chickpea in my face."

"I have two requests for my funeral 1) be scattered at Disney Land 2) not to be cremated"

"In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter.. ..so I failed her!"

"My First reddit Joke: Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware store? Because he was looking for a tight seal!"

"COWORKER: Wanna come to my NYE party?! ME: Aww... I would, but I already have plans. MORGAN FREEMAN: He did not have plans."