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Joke of the Day

"Me: Have a taste of your own medicine *I force the pills the Dr. prescribed for me down his throat* Me: WHO HAS ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION NOW?!"

"What do you do when your leaders invade two countries and depose two leaders, inspiring the rise of ISIS? Call Trump Hitler."

"A father says to his son, ""Don't masturbate too much or you'll go blind.""... The son says, ""Dad, I'm over here."""

"I was playing Words with Fiends I scored 50 points for using all my runes, but summoned Pazuzu."

"What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while I go on ahead. Credit goes to a Laffy Taffy wrapper from some years ago."

"When people ask me about my hobbies, I tell them I'm into birdwatching, photography and meeting new people. It sounds better than stalking."

"Why do women live on average two years longer? Because the time they spend parking doesn't count."

"Whats the best way to watch porn? In double HD."

"Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor? A pachydermatologist."