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Joke of the Day
"[Gets down on one knee] We can save $7.99 a month if we share a single Netflix account."
Next Joke
"I woke up suddenly terrified I'm late for work... I opened my eyes and chilled - I'm at work."
"Told my coworker I want a dragon. He said I'm crazy for wanting anything that might set all my shit on fire but he's the one that's married."
"Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands."
"Asian Drivers Are So Bad... that I wouldn't be surprised if Pearl Harbor was an accident"
"My ass is a woman tonight It won't shut the fuck up."
"The water drought in California is so bad, that someone broke into my cousins house and stole his waterbed."
"Worst Joke Ever Two whales are sitting in a bar and one whale says ""eeeyyoooo eeeeyyy yyeeooo oooyyy ooeeeee"" and the other whale says ""Shut up Steve, you're drunk."""
"What type of bagel can fly? A plain (plane) bagel!"
"What do a Mexican and a cue ball have in common? the harder you hit 'em the more english you get"