180630

Joke of the Day

"I can't stand those 'happy ending' massage parlors Those places just rub me the wrong way"

"When Asian tourists ask me to take their picture for them; I always say, ""Okay let's do one more but this time don't squint"

"Why do natives hate snow? Cause its white and its on their land."

"[Corny] What does a highlighter say when it answers the phone? Yello?"

"After a long and distinguished career, my French teacher finally retired. Adios, amigo."

"I'm celebrating international women's day by not having my wife make me a sandwich today. I'm going to Subway and having Rachel make it instead."

"My friend Amanda is an entrepreneur... She decided to create a cross-dressing boutique. She called it ""Amanda's A Man, Duh""."

"WIFE: [holding newborn baby] Ive never been so proud of anything in my life ME:[thinking about that one time I drew a perfect giraffe] same"

"difference between a crow and a raven one has 4 pinion feathers and the other has 5 pinion feathers, so the difference is a matter of a pinion"

"""Your name is Duck?"" It's Doug. ""Yeah. Duck"" Doug. ""Duck?"" DouGGG ""Got it. Duck"" Go fuGG yourself ""Haha. Classic Duck"""