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Joke of the Day

"After a long and distinguished career, my French teacher finally retired. Adios, amigo."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aries ! Aries who ? Aries a reason why I talk this way !"

"How do you get a kleenex to dance? You put a little boogie in it"

"I must be getting old...my urine flow sounds like a drippy leak in an old abandoned factory"

"Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms."

"Principal: Do you do your homework? Kid: Now & Then Principal: Where do you do it? Kid: Here & There Principal: Put him in the closet!!! Kid: Hey When will I get out? Principal: Oh sooner or later"

"[spelling bee] -your word is 'amnesia' -can you use it a sentence, please? -your word is 'amnesia'"

"A black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The police. They're the police, racist."

"Interviewer: Any special skills? Me: Eclairvoyance. Him: I don't understand. Me: There's a box of donuts in your desk Him: YOU KNOW TOO MUCH"

"What did the magician's assistant say to the magician after the show? ""Thanks for halving me."""