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Joke of the Day
"[Corny] What does a highlighter say when it answers the phone? Yello?"
Next Joke
"I met a plastic surgeon at a bar last night... He specialized in male-to-female sexual reassignment surgeries. He was a pretty nice guy, but a total *womanizer*."
"I've just been dumped by my girlfriend. She found me creepy because I have a nickname for my penis. Guess now that I'm single again, I'll have to take Matters into my own hands."
"She won't admit she's obsessed with Instagram... But her kids' names are Brannan, Kelvin, and Valencia."
"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?"
"Why is gigabit internet good for you? Because it's high in fiber! haha, I'll show myself out..."
"Me: did you know that abbreviating names can be really confusing? GF: really? Me: yeah George Foreman: that's interesting"
"My punchlines are like lost baggage... you should get them in a couple of days. - George Watsky"
"These twins I knew in high school both got mono... They got stereo"
"What's the difference between a cowardly sex offender and your job? Your job will always suck"