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Joke of the Day

"Is it just my nipples or is it cold outside. They're hard as rock. EDIT: They're"

"My girlfriend's father got mad that I proposed to her without asking him first but there's just no way I would ever marry that guy."

"So a girl asked me if I was a tits or an ass man.. so I said, well my friends always tell me, ""You're an ass, man!"" Ba dum tiss."

"Whats Harry Potters favourite way of getting down a hill? walking. JK ROLLING"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? No-one: feminists don't change anything."

"Person: ""That's a beautiful baby."" Me: ""Thanks, I named him after his grandpa."" Person: ""Awe, what's his name?"" Me: ""Grandpa."""

"When I was an altar server, my priest was transferred to another diocese. It was a load off my back."

"A swimmer and a shark walk into a dive bar They had a great time. Fin."

"What do you call a helicopter with no radar and no windows? A Helenkelicopter."

"A really hot girl was checking me out today. Then I paid her for the groceries and left the store."