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Joke of the Day

"When I was an altar server, my priest was transferred to another diocese. It was a load off my back."

"""This may be our 85th viewing of this movie, but we'll watch it as intently as if it was only our 23rd"" -Toddlers"

"Remember, it's not a real paleo diet unless you're eating mammoth every day."

"First Rule of *Always Right* Club--No Men Allowed"

"Whats the difference between two dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"Why did Star Wars episodes 4,5,6 come before 1,2,3? Because in charge of planning, yoda was."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar.... And then a table. And then a chair. Another table...."

"So a man robbed an underwear store... ...and the perpetrator was arrested briefly."

"What is the difference between a horse and a cabbage? I have never been hungry enough that I could eat a cabbage."

"Using the domino's pizza tracker app seems like a great way to carjack someone you know isn't going to put up that much of a fight"