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Joke of the Day

"First date tip: let a photo of a dog fall out of your wallet. When she asks ""is that your puppy?"" say ""No. That's my dad."" Then storm off."

"Waiter there is a mosquito in my soup ! Don't worry sir they don't eat much !"

"OK then - how 'bout this Roof joke? What's the new term for ""almost completely racist""? 180 Roof"

"After 2 divorces, I gave up on that 'dream girl' shit long ago. At this point, if she has no outstanding warrants, I'll talk to her..."

"What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family of 4."

"If resting on one's laurels is like sitting on your butt and a ""hardy"" is a hard-on... Does that mean that the combination of Laurel and Hardy makes Dickbutt?"

"My favorite thing to do after a nap is immediately take a second one."

"Today i made a mistake while sewing. Oops, wrong thread."

"My 3 yr old is so encouraging. I changed my shirt; she says""Daddy, you did it!"" If she finds out I use the potty by myself, she'll flip out."

"Most women who've dated me will tell you I'm about an 8 on the pain scale."