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Joke of the Day
"Most women who've dated me will tell you I'm about an 8 on the pain scale."
Next Joke
"What do you call 100 lesbians with assault rifles? Militia Etheridge"
"A Jewish man walks up to an Asian man... The Jewish man says ""Hey, your eyes are really squinted, must be hard for you to see, huh!"" The Asian man says ""Well at least I can see my grandparents."""
"Accidentally ordered a large Coke from McDonalds. My Smart Car tipped over"
"WIFE: omg Will Smith's son, Jaden, is dead ME: where'd you see that? W: Facebook M: I'm pretty sure that's a hoax W: no Facebook is real"
"Why don't you prescribe Viagra as an antidepressant? it only makes things harder."
"Apparently there's enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot."
"My business portfolio is a cigarette butt inside an empty beer bottle."
"What's the difference between a fat girl and model? The black guy doesn't give a shit"
"Cop: Is that a turtle? Me: ... Cop: Painted blue? Me: ... Cop: With nails glued on? Me: ... Cop: Mario Kart's not real Me: YOURE NOT REAL"