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Joke of the Day
"He was the best human cannonball the circus ever had. You seldom meet a man of his caliber."
Next Joke
"[taking my final breaths after a freak accident] Tell my family I totes love them *gasping for air* but like, roll your eyes real hard"
"If your an American before you go in the bathroom and your an American when you come out, what are you when you are in the bathroom? European"
"When you use a stranger's phone charger, you're charging with everyone they've ever charged with."
"What do you call a hooker fart? A prosti-toot. Zing pow!"
"My kids have voted, and the results are in. It's official, I've been elected the President of Empty Threats."
"Life is like a bed of roses. You just have to watch out for the pricks."
"Why do sharks swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!"
"Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!"
"Did you hear about the Coldplay concert in China last weekend? It was all yellow."