179813

Joke of the Day

"WIFE: I just bought toilet paper. How are we out already? ME: *hiding dog that I wrapped up like a mummy* it's a mystery I guess"

"I think 50 cent stands a chance against Floyd Mayweather I don't know about 12, But I know 50 cent can take 9 rounds"

"How did Jamie find Cersei in the long grass? Satisfying."

"Today I saw Flash walking by, on the street. He must really be a shitty flash."

"Why do Muslims hate Hitler? My friend told me this 'joke' after he found out I was Muslim. Him: Why do Muslims hate Hitler? Me: Why? Him: He didn't kill ALL the Jews."

"What's Mr. Skeltal's favorite candy? Dootsie rolls."

"Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well first let's talk about the concept behind this whole ""light bulb"" thing."

"Why weren't the eggplants allowed into the mushroom party? Because there wasn't much room and they aren't fun guys."

"I loved church when i was little, but what i hated was all the standing up, and sitting down and kneeling I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me already."

"If there's two things I hate, it's racist people and niggers."