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Joke of the Day

"I loved church when i was little, but what i hated was all the standing up, and sitting down and kneeling I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me already."

Next Joke
 
"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest"
"Coworker: I like working with you. I feel like I can really talk to you Me: I'm sorry I gave you that impression. That's not correct"
"One time I exaggerated so hard that I died."
"Whats white and likes to shoot? Kevin Nash"
"My teacher accused my of plagiarism on my calculus paper She said my work was very derivative"
"Sarah Palin's new Christmas book is her attempt at valuing the sanctity Christmas so she can sell books and make money just like baby Jesus."
"Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman? A: ""Do you smell carrot?"""
"Elton John may be a very good pianist, But he sucks on the organ."
"Hello, pest control? Yes, I have these noisy little critters. They got into the snacks, made a mess of the place and keep calling me mom."