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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet? Because the P is silent."

"What does the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend Flush I heard this from my 11 year old cousin, the look on his mom's face after he told me this made my day."

"Every so often I'll listen to my wife talk non stop for hours at a time to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking."

"An Irishman, a Scotsman, and an amnesiac stumble drunkenly into the road. The Irishman nearly escapes a speeding car, but the Scotsman isn't so lucky, and gets hit by the car and dies."

"A white female President's first order of business would be instituting the ""No Cupcake Left Un-Instragrammed"" act."

"An Electric Field Walks up to a Dipole and asks, ""Do you have a moment?"""

"Confucius says - He who goes to bed with itchy butt Wake up with stinky fingers. Just remembered this from when I was 13"

"First rule to losing weight as a political world leader You only get out what you Putin."

"What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !"

"I'm emotionally unavailable but I make up for it by being completely unattractive."